CONFIDENT COURTEUOS COMMUNICATION

I hope you in no doubt as to the passion we trainers and coaches feel about making you a better, more effective communicator.

However what are the secret ingredients to a good communicator? First impressions are incredibly important to make your mark. As soon as you are within eyeshot of someone they will be making assumptions about you. You need to be aware of that and in control of it as far as you can, so it's a good idea to think about your image all the time...even if it's opening the door for a parcel delivery!

Don't you think that so many people look scruffy? I was listening to a programme on Radio 4 recently about women's dress codes over the past fifty years. In the 1950s a woman would feel the need to be colour coordinated, she wouldn't dream of going out with mismatching colours of handbags and shoes. Hats were a must have for every outfit. Trousers were never worn on formal occasions. Visits to the Opera and many other venues required evening dress for men and women. Indeed virtually up 'til then newsreaders were required to wear evening dress and that was on the radio!

The formal dress code reflected or was reflected in the way people communicated. I can remember the formality of my mother addressing neighbours and acquaintances that she had known for years as Mr or Mrs. If you were on 'first name terms' then that was a true mark of intimacy.

Nowadays virtually everyone uses first names, even if they have never met each other and conduct face to face, telephone even e-mail conversations. This is to some extent linked to the English language because we have no distinction in the way we address other people. To use 'you' means anyone whether we know them or not whether one or many. In other languages such as French or Italian there is a distinction between the formal and the friendly by the use of tu and vous or te, lei, voi.

Linguists will argue that it is the relative grammatical simplicity of our language and the way it has evolved with the times and the people using it that makes it the most widely spoken language in the world. However it is the richest in terms of vocabulary and absorption of other languages but that is another article for another day.

By making the language more casual, we, as a society have become more casual in how we speak to each other. How many times do you hear 'yes' suggesting affirmative instead of 'ok'. The received pronunciation of the newsreels in the fifties is risible now. Even Her Majesty the Queen does not use the clipped staccato tones that she did as a young woman and Princes William and Harry certainly do their best to sound more 'ordinary'.

You might ask the question..have we gone too far? Most certainly the sort of language allowed on TV was once never heard. Various presenters and comedians seem to use vulgarity to enhance their popularity, which I personally think is very sad.

What is even more worrying is the fact that many people genuinely do not understand the appropriate use of language and have no real idea of the difference between when to use formal Standard English as opposed to slang or familiar vernacular used between friends. Teachers in some cases have the same problem! Not being able to use formal Standard English actually puts people at an enormous disadvantage. Ignorance of appropriate use of language can inhibit job prospects, promotions even acceptance in certain social circles or clubs.

In the attempt to break down class barriers by the accent we use and offer opportunities more fairly across the spectrum of society it could be argued that language use is too informal sometimes matching the trend for dressing down.

Interestingly a pair of designer jeans with rips and frays can cost far more than a smart pair of trousers - but what would be the pair most likely to make the right impression at most job interviews? Whilst the Estuary English of East Enders may be a pull for TV viewers, how many people who know no other way might welcome some speech training helping them use an accent and vocabulary that might gain respect from others and greater personal and financial rewards?

It's harder these days to get it right because there are so many choices and less cohesion in the way people perceive formality. But being formal in the appropriate setting can be very advantageous. The old adage that if you look smart you seem smart is still very alive in business circles today and polite use of language is a real power tool because of its increasing rarity.

Harness the power of your voice!